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Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 3:26 am
by Mr Cholmondeley-Warner
ADC - great introductory post, great self-awareness, interesting tangent into car control.

My one thought when in a situation that increases heart rate, be it due to driver conflict, or following someone with a view to overtaking and noticing it's affecting my driving, is to back off and create space between me and the vehicle in front.

If it's because of emotion, that will almost instantly ease the tension. As you noted, getting more involved just escalates the emotion, turns it into anger, and may lead to other poor behaviour (both on your part and theirs). :headbang: :nono:

If it's about overtaking, sometimes it's too easy to focus on the vehicle in front, and forget road craft. Backing off a little and just "driving the road" instead of concentrating on maintaining contact, also improves your concentration and smoothness (and it's spooky how often a nice overtake then becomes available soon after that can be executed smoothly and with no adrenaline required).

Usually, if a vehicle is poorly behaved, I want it in front of, rather than behind me. If that means I need to slow down for a while (in your case until your right turn, which probably would have cost you less than a minute, since they caught up while you waited to turn), so be it. Find something else to concentrate on during that time, like perfect gear changes, or accurate positioning on the road. Problem gone.

As for Don, as jont says, go and do it (in the autumn on a rainy day or winter on a freezing cold one - although standing around in a cold wind while Don does his tyre stuff can be painful).

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 8:43 am
by martine
ADC wrote:Oh and by the way, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the constructive comments and warm welcome, it's much appreciated. It's good to see a relatively niche forum like this has a lot of regular posters with really constructive comments.

OK...fancy an ADHUB driving day then? See the Brecon day coming up in September: http://www.advanceddrivinghub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=785 - they are great, classic days. If you're not sure, ask.

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 4:04 pm
by ADC
Mr Cholmondeley-Warner wrote:ADC - great introductory post, great self-awareness, interesting tangent into car control.


Many thanks for the kind words, it's much appreciated.

You are completely right about creating space between me and the annoyance, before things escalate. The problem I find is that sometimes all rational logic goes out the window, and it's these times I'm trying to improve on.
I fitted a dashcam a few days ago, and it seems like it might be a good thing. I now feel like I'm being observed on every drive I go on, it's a strange feeling. Hopefully one for the best!

Latest example. I think this was driven by having an impatient person behind me, who was just a bit too impatient, and me not recognising that. I don't speed up to a red light at 60mph when it's just gone red. This person seemed to want to do that (could have overtaken me...). Green light, slow moving traffic 100m ahead in 40mph limit so I approach at 30mph. The car behind didn't like this either, but just sat on my backside (could have overtaken me...). Over a rounabout, short 40mph stretch before a 30mph. I'm doing around 35mph as they're so close behind me, and then gently brake to achieve 30mph. This was the last straw and they decided to overtake. Thwarted by an island, they pulled back in, and then overtook after the island and stopped in the lane in front of me. I slowed, and once I saw no movement (wheels/steering) firmly passed and continued. Turn right at a filter a few hundre meteres further on and they pull up next to me giving me some 'friendly advice'. They've got 2 young kids in child seats in the back, and the drive is shouting and swearing about brake checks and going far too slowly. Just seems like even when you try your best, some people just can't help but be enraged by it. They're the ones who I need to learn to deal with/avoid...

I emailed Don P week before last - no response just yet. Perhaps I'll try again next week.

Martine - I wasn't aware of those days. I'll look into them, thanks.

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 5:06 pm
by Horse
ADC wrote:[they pull up next to me giving me some 'friendly advice'. They've got 2 young kids in child seats in the back, and the drive is shouting and swearing about brake checks and going far too slowly. Just seems like even when you try your best, some people just can't help but be enraged by it. They're the ones who I need to learn to deal with/avoid...


Sometimes you have to abandon 'good' driving and revert to the herd, as other drivers will understand what we're doing and why. A mate was at a family gathering and happened to mention he was a motorcyclist. He was given chapter and verse of the terrible riding the other person had seen, of a biker "swerving all over the road". Calm questioning confirmed that the rider was probably using 'lines' for cornering!

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 7:34 pm
by fungus
I had a situation on the M27 last Sunday. Road works not in operation at the time but a 50 mph limit in force. I was in lane two now because the joining trafic now formed lane one. I slowed to about 55mph but found that I was being undertaken with no chance to move to lane one due to the volume of trafic joining. To make matters worse a German bus that I had overtaken before the 50 limit came into sight came up very close behind. The driver was obviously not going to keep to the limit like virtually every other driver, most of whom were probably still travelling at near on 70 mph. It was one of those situations where you're forced to go along with the flow. I can only think that most drivers were familiar with the road works and whether the were speed enforcement cameras.

Nigel.

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 7:43 pm
by Mr Cholmondeley-Warner
ADC wrote:Latest example. I think this was driven by having an impatient person behind me, who was just a bit too impatient, and me not recognising that
[....]
Turn right at a filter a few hundred meters further on and they pull up next to me giving me some 'friendly advice'. They've got 2 young kids in child seats in the back, and the drive is shouting and swearing about brake checks and going far too slowly. Just seems like even when you try your best, some people just can't help but be enraged by it. They're the ones who I need to learn to deal with/avoid...


You do seem to attract them, don't you! :D

Have you considered moving to a less civilised part of the country?

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:41 am
by Horse
Being hunted down by the Germans? Either that post has been delayed by 70 years or so, or it's a 'Brexit' post in the wrong thread ;)

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:05 pm
by fungus
Mr Cholmondeley-Warner wrote:You do seem to attract them, don't you! :D

Have you considered moving to a less civilised part of the country?


It's my magnetic personality :D

Nigel.

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:08 pm
by fungus
Horse wrote:Being hunted down by the Germans? Either that post has been delayed by 70 years or so, or it's a 'Brexit' post in the wrong thread ;)


Leave those Fokkers behind any day.

Nigel.

Re: I did a bad thing. How do I improve?

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:12 pm
by Mr Cholmondeley-Warner
Apologies, I was addressing the OP. Now edited to make that clearer.