I did a bad thing. How do I improve?
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2018 2:20 pm
Long story warning. Ship to 'my questions' at the end for the short version!
I’m after a bit of advice, but first a brief background. I passed in 2004, 1 minor, Pass Plus, then IAM a few years later, and subsequently an HPC Young Driver Day and IAM track day. Long time ADUK lurker, but only just registered. Many many thousands of miles of driving later and I’ve still not been involved in any accidents/claims etc. I’m proud of my driving, really enjoy it, and take pleasure in making it as smooth and efficient as possible (whilst still ‘making progress’), and I’m particularly proud of my general situational awareness of what’s going on around me at all times. I’m an engineer with experience in vehicle dynamics, and I have a better sense than most of what the car is doing at all times (probably not most on this forum though!). Yeh yeh, that’s all great, but it counts for nothing without the right attitude on the road, and recently I’ve become a frustrated grumpy old git (I’m only 35) who gets very impatient with anyone who dares to show the slightest incompetence on the road. I say this from the perspective of a driver and a cyclist. Off the road I’m an easy going chilled sort of person, and always have been. Here’s a recent example that prompted me to post on here to get some advice. This isn’t a frequent occurrence by any means! But enough that I’ve noticed it, and want to improve.
A short way out of work there’s a 4 way junction with traffic lights, NSL in all directions. At the most there are usually about 2 or 3 cars at each light – it’s a quiet area. Long story short, I was intending on turning left. Stopped at a red light, no cars in front/behind, handbrake/neutral. Light goes green, and as the light holds you a little way from the junction threshold I started to move forwards whilst doing my checks around me at the same time. Glad I did, because a car sailed through from my RHS at 40mph+ rather close in front of me. Had I not looked I'd probably be dead. I blasted my horn to show my annoyance/presence, and they sailed on by apparently oblivious (or didn't hear it as they'd passed by already). Checked around again, and continued to my left (effectively following the car). Anyway, up to here it was fine, and then for the bit I’m not proud of…
They continued at c.40mph (NSL road) so I soon caught up with them. Followed at a sensible distance, but was expecting a wave or some sort of acknowledgement of what they’d just done. Nothing, never mind. We went around a corner onto a 1 mile NSL straight. (I was planning turning off to the right at the end of the straight). Oncoming cars. I close up to a distance ready for an overtake (still 40mph). A few seconds later and the oncoming cars now have a big enough gap to safely overtake, so I do so, within the speed limit. I ‘cut in’ earlier than I normally would (wouldn’t normally use that expression), and I checked my speed with the brakes (normally just acceleration sense) a little too hard. I think by this point I was now quite angry with their complete lack of acknowledgement that they had nearly hit me side on at 40mph. I think in hindsight I was subconsciously trying to slow them down so that I could communicate in some way with them (literally ask them what they were doing to distract them so much that they almost hit me). The overtake was unnecessary, but not dangerous. Braking in front of them was again unnecessary, was stupid, and whilst not dangerous, did not make the situation any better for anyone. Drove off at NSL. At the point I wanted to turn off right there were now oncoming cars, so I slowed gradually, and was sat waiting, indicators on, when the car pulled up behind me. Safe distance, no acknowledgement whatsoever. (I now think it wasn’t a lack of acknowledgement, but a desire to avoid any sort of conflict/communication/apologise, and I think it was this that made me so annoyed.) Whilst waiting in 1st gear, I was checking the rear view mirror to see the reaction of the driver, and if any cars were approaching from behind them. A gap appeared, I pulled onto the side road, and they carried on. End of story. They pootled away, and I drove away safely but angry, and annoyed all night. Both at them nearly killing me, and my own anger getting the better of me and making me drive like a t**t.
This bugged me all night, for several reasons, and prompted me to post on here for critique and advice. The story itself doesn't matter, it's how I reacted to the situation that does. I don't want to become 'one of them'!
My observations:
1. My initial awareness/reaction to a driver passing through a red light (apparently not just jumping it, but going through it (possibly a genuine mistake, they can be misleading)) was fine. My awareness stopped a collision, and I calmly continued afterwards (for about 30 seconds).
2. As I ‘followed’ the car I got angry. I think it was mainly from their complete lack of acknowledgement that they nearly hit me.
3. I think adrenaline may have contributed. It dawned on me that I had nearly been hit at 40mph side on, but only after a short while. I would likely be dead if that had happened. I should/could have realised this, and pulled over somehow for a few moments.
4. Their complete lack of acknowledgement of me; either almost hitting me, with me following them, or when they were sat stationary behind me avoiding eye contact. I think all of that is what annoyed me, and combined with adrenaline made me act in a stupid manner. One little wave from them would have calmed it all down. But ultimately, my actions should not have happened, regardless of their actions (or lack of).
5. Recently back from holiday involving a lot of driving. Probably quite tired. Only recently back to work, so all the blues associated with that too. Just makes the short fuse even shorter…
My questions:
1. Any tips on remaining calm when driving in this sort of situation? Difficult question, but tips would be appreciated. Something for me to think about whilst driving and improve my self-awareness. It's something new to me, I've always been quite calm. Obviously 'just stay calm' is the answer, but how do folk avoid getting frustrated by muppets around them? (In this case I'm a muppet too...)
2. I’ve done IAM, and still drive by those guidelines, but the test was a while ago now. I’ve tried to contact my local group up here in the far north, but each time I’ve tried I’ve not had a response, so I gave up. I want to do another course, but which one? My observation/awareness is ok, car control is ok, but emotions seem to be the biggest issue just now. (Would obviously like to improve everything, but need to prioritise.) Is there a driving course that tackles this emotional side of things? Perhaps just an observed drive or two to get me back into the right mindset.
3. I’ve been wanting to do another course anyway, focused mainly on car control. Possibly track focused, although would prefer it on the road. Any recommendations? I did the HPC young driver day years ago and it was good. I’ve done an IAM track day and it was good too – I’ll try to find another one of them nearby, but other suggestions would be welcome. Happy to spend a bit of money if there are good courses in NE England/Scotland.
Be gentle but honest! Thanks.
I’m after a bit of advice, but first a brief background. I passed in 2004, 1 minor, Pass Plus, then IAM a few years later, and subsequently an HPC Young Driver Day and IAM track day. Long time ADUK lurker, but only just registered. Many many thousands of miles of driving later and I’ve still not been involved in any accidents/claims etc. I’m proud of my driving, really enjoy it, and take pleasure in making it as smooth and efficient as possible (whilst still ‘making progress’), and I’m particularly proud of my general situational awareness of what’s going on around me at all times. I’m an engineer with experience in vehicle dynamics, and I have a better sense than most of what the car is doing at all times (probably not most on this forum though!). Yeh yeh, that’s all great, but it counts for nothing without the right attitude on the road, and recently I’ve become a frustrated grumpy old git (I’m only 35) who gets very impatient with anyone who dares to show the slightest incompetence on the road. I say this from the perspective of a driver and a cyclist. Off the road I’m an easy going chilled sort of person, and always have been. Here’s a recent example that prompted me to post on here to get some advice. This isn’t a frequent occurrence by any means! But enough that I’ve noticed it, and want to improve.
A short way out of work there’s a 4 way junction with traffic lights, NSL in all directions. At the most there are usually about 2 or 3 cars at each light – it’s a quiet area. Long story short, I was intending on turning left. Stopped at a red light, no cars in front/behind, handbrake/neutral. Light goes green, and as the light holds you a little way from the junction threshold I started to move forwards whilst doing my checks around me at the same time. Glad I did, because a car sailed through from my RHS at 40mph+ rather close in front of me. Had I not looked I'd probably be dead. I blasted my horn to show my annoyance/presence, and they sailed on by apparently oblivious (or didn't hear it as they'd passed by already). Checked around again, and continued to my left (effectively following the car). Anyway, up to here it was fine, and then for the bit I’m not proud of…
They continued at c.40mph (NSL road) so I soon caught up with them. Followed at a sensible distance, but was expecting a wave or some sort of acknowledgement of what they’d just done. Nothing, never mind. We went around a corner onto a 1 mile NSL straight. (I was planning turning off to the right at the end of the straight). Oncoming cars. I close up to a distance ready for an overtake (still 40mph). A few seconds later and the oncoming cars now have a big enough gap to safely overtake, so I do so, within the speed limit. I ‘cut in’ earlier than I normally would (wouldn’t normally use that expression), and I checked my speed with the brakes (normally just acceleration sense) a little too hard. I think by this point I was now quite angry with their complete lack of acknowledgement that they had nearly hit me side on at 40mph. I think in hindsight I was subconsciously trying to slow them down so that I could communicate in some way with them (literally ask them what they were doing to distract them so much that they almost hit me). The overtake was unnecessary, but not dangerous. Braking in front of them was again unnecessary, was stupid, and whilst not dangerous, did not make the situation any better for anyone. Drove off at NSL. At the point I wanted to turn off right there were now oncoming cars, so I slowed gradually, and was sat waiting, indicators on, when the car pulled up behind me. Safe distance, no acknowledgement whatsoever. (I now think it wasn’t a lack of acknowledgement, but a desire to avoid any sort of conflict/communication/apologise, and I think it was this that made me so annoyed.) Whilst waiting in 1st gear, I was checking the rear view mirror to see the reaction of the driver, and if any cars were approaching from behind them. A gap appeared, I pulled onto the side road, and they carried on. End of story. They pootled away, and I drove away safely but angry, and annoyed all night. Both at them nearly killing me, and my own anger getting the better of me and making me drive like a t**t.
This bugged me all night, for several reasons, and prompted me to post on here for critique and advice. The story itself doesn't matter, it's how I reacted to the situation that does. I don't want to become 'one of them'!
My observations:
1. My initial awareness/reaction to a driver passing through a red light (apparently not just jumping it, but going through it (possibly a genuine mistake, they can be misleading)) was fine. My awareness stopped a collision, and I calmly continued afterwards (for about 30 seconds).
2. As I ‘followed’ the car I got angry. I think it was mainly from their complete lack of acknowledgement that they nearly hit me.
3. I think adrenaline may have contributed. It dawned on me that I had nearly been hit at 40mph side on, but only after a short while. I would likely be dead if that had happened. I should/could have realised this, and pulled over somehow for a few moments.
4. Their complete lack of acknowledgement of me; either almost hitting me, with me following them, or when they were sat stationary behind me avoiding eye contact. I think all of that is what annoyed me, and combined with adrenaline made me act in a stupid manner. One little wave from them would have calmed it all down. But ultimately, my actions should not have happened, regardless of their actions (or lack of).
5. Recently back from holiday involving a lot of driving. Probably quite tired. Only recently back to work, so all the blues associated with that too. Just makes the short fuse even shorter…
My questions:
1. Any tips on remaining calm when driving in this sort of situation? Difficult question, but tips would be appreciated. Something for me to think about whilst driving and improve my self-awareness. It's something new to me, I've always been quite calm. Obviously 'just stay calm' is the answer, but how do folk avoid getting frustrated by muppets around them? (In this case I'm a muppet too...)
2. I’ve done IAM, and still drive by those guidelines, but the test was a while ago now. I’ve tried to contact my local group up here in the far north, but each time I’ve tried I’ve not had a response, so I gave up. I want to do another course, but which one? My observation/awareness is ok, car control is ok, but emotions seem to be the biggest issue just now. (Would obviously like to improve everything, but need to prioritise.) Is there a driving course that tackles this emotional side of things? Perhaps just an observed drive or two to get me back into the right mindset.
3. I’ve been wanting to do another course anyway, focused mainly on car control. Possibly track focused, although would prefer it on the road. Any recommendations? I did the HPC young driver day years ago and it was good. I’ve done an IAM track day and it was good too – I’ll try to find another one of them nearby, but other suggestions would be welcome. Happy to spend a bit of money if there are good courses in NE England/Scotland.
Be gentle but honest! Thanks.